Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Thursday, October 12, 2023

Marriage (Is a Lifelong Unfolding)


It's really hard to believe that it's ten years!
Happy 10th Anniversary! 
May God bless you with many more happy, faithful years of marriage!

10 years later...
(photo credit to a photographer in Nova Scotia)



Everyone who is married knows 
that although wedding celebrations and congratulations are very special, 
Anniversary congratulations are ever-the-more so,
 having experienced, by the grace of God what it takes to fulfill marriage vows,
(especially as parenting-challenges are added๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜)



Marriage is a lifelong learning 
about highs and lows of love
A lifetime of no returning 
to a world of ‘I’ and ‘me
From the moment vows are spoken 
and recorded up above
Only by death’s parting broken, 
marriage is a life of ‘we

Marriage, is God’s holy knitting 
together of two to one
A lifetime of recommitting 
to be each other’s best friend
For this is no small endeavor, 
on a Wedding Day begun
Because marriage is forever; 
love, a student to the end

Marriage is full of surprises; 
'no dreamer’s dream long intact
Love’s politest of disguises 
soon faces reality
Testing Best of expectation
 with age-old matters of fact
Teaching stubborn indignation 
lessons in humility

Marriage is a bit like weather, 
some days full of smiles, sun-warm
Laughter finesses the tether 
that feels far too fine to break
But some days are dark with thunder, 
some days love must brave a storm
Some days love may dare to wonder 
if marriage was a mistake

But what God has joined together,
 by His grace He will sustain
Day by day, just like the weather, 
marriage weathers highs and lows
As love learns to say ‘I’m sorry’, 
faithful through both sun and rain
God is unfolding the glory 
of a very priceless Rose

© Janet Martin

Mark 10:9
Therefore what God has joined together,
 let no one separate.”

















Monday, September 25, 2023

Of Unbroken Marriage Vows

Today is my parent's 60th Wedding Anniversary...

On Saturday Mom and Dad, along with all children and spouses
enjoyed a day of celebration of God's goodness,
in the blessing of the milestone of 60 years of marriage!

And no, the waters have not always been calm and sun-sparkled!
They have weathered many a self-sacrificing storm.

Happy 60th Anniversary, Mom and Dad!
So thankful for you!



No beauty in the world compares to love that stands the test of time
A yoke weathered by creature cares through vows uttered in youth’s green prime
Where none, as God joins heart to heart, with love’s solemn ‘from this day forth’
Can know how far ‘till death doth part’ will undo Heaven’s best on earth

For, when love is patient and kind, and when it does not seek its own
There is nothing that we can find worth more (save faith’s sound Cornerstone)
To ground love’s house built on the Rock, an anchor for the storms we face
To help us in our walk and talk to be examples of God’s grace

For it is by His grace love bears and believes and endures all things
A Threefold Cord; nothing compares to the strength this awareness brings
Where, by the mystery of God two become one, till death doth part
Let not man put asunder what marriage vows have joined, heart to heart

For nothing in the world compares to love that withstands living’s test
A recompense of humble prayers, of lessons learned through forgiveness
To bring honor and glory to He who is a most faithful Friend
And helps Husband and Wife to be loving and faithful to the end

Dear Mom and Dad…

God, bless and keep, protect and guide you on this special day, and then
From this day forth may He provide love and faith’s sacred need, amen
Where, though much in this world is broken, may what time weathers and bows
By God’s grace be love’s faithful token of Unbroken Marriage Vows

© Janet Martin

Num.6:24-26

“The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,

And be gracious to you;
 The Lord [a]lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.” ’












Saturday, June 3, 2023

It's Not Fancy, Love's Commitment



Marriage; that 'till death do us part' commitment
...that 'what God has joined together let no one put asunder' undertaking
...that 'for better or worse' that's bound to try even the starriest eyes 
Marriage; that union no love is ever fully prepared for

Today Jim and I, by the grace of God
 celebrate 35 years of marriage


it's not fancy, love's commitment
keeping kindness on its toes
learning how to be more patient
rather than wield verbal blows
learning to weather together
what could well draw us apart
when differences strain the tether
that has knit us heart to heart 

it's not fancy, love in action
testing more than how one feels
 about the truth of attraction
after first love cools its heels
its a digging in together
so we do not drift apart
in our promise of 'forever'
love; not for the faint of heart

it's not fancy, love's meek glory
tempered by both smile and tear
it's as simple as 'I'm sorry'
**(it's as hard as this, my dear)
it's a bittersweet commitment
bringing out our worst and best
as we stick to the fulfillment
of  vows human natures test

it's not fancy, being faithful
being gentle, being strong
being unselfish and grateful
 helping each other along
following Jesus example
of a sacrificial life
it's not fancy, love's wonder-full
journey as husband and wife 

๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

Janet Martin

As life writes our love stories,
as years fall behind us so swiftly
faithful love of husband and wife reaps a harvest
so worth the effort.
and it's not fancy,
or glamourous,
(for by now we've both too often stumbled
and been soundly humbled) 
until all that is left to exclaim is
'thank-you God' for your faithfulness
making possible ours!
...and through it all we marvel at how love
doesn't look anything like we once envisioned, but the more beautiful
because of its weathering!

When we get to those seasons in marriage when we're sure it's not going to work,
it is vital we pray to God for His faithfulness to see us through,
to help us remain faithful to the vows we made before Him!
Nobody has a successful marriage because it is easy.
Faithfulness happens day by day...

the other day on Ann Voskamp's blog
this beautiful guest post!!


Psalm 25:4
(a good prayer for marriage)
Show me your way, O Lord,
teach me your path.

** and a genuine 'I'm sorry' is not
"I'm sorry that you feel that I should be sorry for something
that I feel I don't need to be sorry for!!"๐Ÿ˜…

One of my fav love songs!




Friday, June 3, 2022

Of Unrelenting Honor & By The Grace of God

Therefore, what God has joined together
let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

The above words grow more solemn as the years pass.
I've seen God tug the tie many times,
and I have seen man attempt to do it
leaving heartbreak harsher than
the sorrow of death in it's wake...

Today, but by God's grace
 Jim and I celebrate 34 years of marriage.
Because 'love is a many-splendored thing'
It's a two-poem celebration๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ’•

Counting dating years we've been together for 40 roller-coaster years!
I'm playing a few of our favorite love songs today


 





Of Unrelenting Honor...

Of cares weathered together
Of vows highly esteemed
Of tests to ‘I do’s’ tether
In ways we never dreamed
Of constant, sacred learning
Of faithfulness, because
There can be no returning
To life the way it was

Of compassionate living
And in ire’s pricks and stings
Of merciful forgiving
Because love bears all things
Of being understanding
When we don’t understand
Not selfishly demanding
To force the other’s hand

Of praying without ceasing
To be humble in heart
For there is no releasing
This pledge ‘ till death do part’
To be best friends forever
And never say, ‘I’m done’
When Satan tries to sever
The cord that makes two, one

Of sharing pain and pleasure
Committed to love’s vows
Of treasuring the measure
Of all God’s grace allows
And, whatever betide us
Of hilltop or of vale
Of asking Him to guide us
So, love will never fail

Of critique left unspoken
Of unuttered lament
Lest blame becomes love’s token
Rather than compliment
Of choosing to be grateful
Of laughing till we cry
Of fighting to be faithful
Until God pulls the tie

Of unrelenting honor
For love is like a cup
That always needs another 
...self cannot fill it up 
Let's fill it with an ocean
And in its pouring prove
With beholden devotion 
The greatest of these; love

© Janet Martin




But By the Grace of God (till death do part)

Not counting all the times, we didn’t see quite eye to eye
When your druthers and mine were like December meets July
When opposites that once seemed so attractive start to irk
As we reevaluate what it takes to make ‘us’ work

Not counting all the days when love's 'tone' was misunderstood
And we did not respond in ways like two grown adults should
When we behaved like rivals rather than husband and wife
I’d say we are exceptional at rocking married life

Not counting all the rules that unschooled mid-life love ignores
Until our tempers cool, no longer fooled by lion-roars/'winning' scores
I’d say in spite of all the times we bite instead of kiss
That you and I are prime examples of sweet, wedded bliss

I hope that life becomes a 'losing track of years' because
Of moment-thrum's momentous sums; the love-story of 'us'
Where, in spite of those times we blush some sad excuse to fend
We'll look back on a life of 'us'; love, faithful to the end

© Janet Martin





Tuesday, April 12, 2022

But By The Grace of God (til death doth part)




Not counting all the times, we didn’t see quite eye to eye
When your druthers and mine were like December meets July
When opposites that once seemed so attractive start to irk
As we reevaluate what it takes to make ‘us’ work

Not counting all the days when love's 'tone' was misunderstood
And we did not respond in ways like two grown adults should
When we behaved like rivals rather than husband and wife
I’d say we are exceptional at rocking married life

Not counting all the rules that unschooled mid-life love ignores
Until our tempers cool, no longer fooled by lion-roars/'winning' scores
I’d say in spite of all the times we bite instead of kiss
That you and I are prime examples of sweet, wedded bliss

I hope that life becomes a 'losing track of years' because
Of moment-thrum's momentous sums; the love-story of 'us'
Where, in spite of those times we blush some sad excuse to fend
We'll look back on a life of 'us'; love, faithful to the end

© Janet Martin

Thursday, June 3, 2021

That's Marriage, Ladies and Gentlemen

 Celebrating thirty-three years of 'us'!
Photo credit: Brittany Ruppert
 

Just now...phone rings (9:30 p.m.)
Me; Hello?
Him; what are you doing? Why haven't you called yet?
Me; I'm trying to finish writing something for our thirty-third anniversary.
but WOW, it's really hard work at night with an old, tired head...
Him; oh good! I thought maybe you weren't going to do one this year!

Yes, he looks forward to seeing a daily blog-post even if he is not really a fan of poetry
(Jim, for those who don't know us is a truck-driver)
Knowing he appreciates it always helps to motivate me to at least try
 on days when it's really hard to squeeze it in...
(first stanza is inspired by a scene last Friday
and every. single. other. niece or nephew wedding. ever.!!!!)๐Ÿ˜…

We’re getting pretty good at it, he and I
I button his shirt while he fixes his tie
He steps into shoes I have placed at his feet
‘Getting ready for a wedding’ just hit repeat
Because for some reason there is always a delay
Come date-to-be-home-for-someone’s-wedding-day
He calls from the truck ‘run the water, dear
If you give me five minutes, we should be near-
Ly ready to go (wedding starts in ten)
That’s marriage, ladies and gentlemen

‘For better or worse’ no matter what shape or size
Something will shadow/shatter the stars in love’s eyes
Sooner or later, we are bound to find out
What marriage vows are really all about
After the honeymoon (or on it?) when patience is tried
When love startles us with its less polished side
When words are tested with mettle of will
When love seems lacking its fire and thrill
It’s time to make time for each other again
That’s marriage, ladies and gentlemen

This is forever, ‘till death do us part’
Where no one can sever what God joins in heart
For as we commit to be faithful and true
He ties a knot only He can undo
To love and to cherish, a most sacred oath
That takes the full faith and commitment of both
And trusting that what we will need, God will give
In keeping our promise as long as we live
As we renew love’s vows again and again
That’s marriage, ladies and gentlemen

© Janet Martin

I made the poster below when I was 16 or 17.
 (yeah, we were young 'uns when we started)
See our names down the side???๐Ÿ˜

 

The Ten Commandments for Married Couples 
was given to us on our 10th Anniversary from my parents
















Friday, May 7, 2021

Even If...



'We give relationships our best efforts because we love the Lord.'

...and that's the crucial element; if/because we love the Lord! 
It/He helps us forgive even when it seems it doesn't change anything.
When we put Love/God first it changes everything!
First and foremost, our focus.
Wow!
seemed to speak directly to me,
feeling a little/ a lot guilty at my less than loving response
to someone this morning which set the fur flying
(I won't bore you with all the juicy, dirty details)๐Ÿ˜
and while we did sincerely apologize
for losing our 'cool', two people in their mid-fifties
are not miraculously changed just because we say
"I should not have said what I did, I'm sorry, (but)" 
But, by the time we reach our mid-fifties
 we also realize how vital reconciliation is!
(I'm sorry without the 'but'!!)

On this blog I try to keep life and love real!
Love is hard, often hidden work, but
vital work, so worth the effort, 
because it affects so many more people
than just ourselves!

So, by God's grace we forgive
and try again...





So, here's to love, even if...

Even if we feel neglected,
rejected, 
misunderstood
Love is patient
kind and gentle
Not angry,
vengeful
or rude

Even if, when disappointed
by the twists 
and turns
of life
Love protects,
considers others
does not wield
a verbal 
knife (oops!!)

Even if, we feel that our
frustration
is justified
Love requires
meek repentance
of self-serving
stubborn pride

Even if it feels lopsided;
 scales of loving's
give and take
Love respects,
lest we,
misguided, think
Self is love's
highest stake 

Even if we lose our tempers/mercy
Love apologizes,
then
Prays when he/she
pushes our buttons
we learn how to
count to ten
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜“๐Ÿ˜Š
and try, and try
and try again

Janet Martin~

Love never quits

Love never fails
1 Cor.13:8

Speaking of pushing buttons...

If we were push-button machines
we could 'order-up'
and all would be well
in Love of Self's little world...
but, since we are people
for better or worse
feelings and opinions come into play
and our only saving grace is,
'if we love the Lord'
If we don't then long-term 
happy, healthy relationships
are hard! 

...even if for just a bit
we want to sit and
nurse
'poor me'
Love makes us strong 
enough
to get up
and serve
with humility

Love is patient, 
love is kind...
1 Cor.13:4



Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Let's Leave Allowances (for a miracle!)

Due to the explanation here (Poem Tango) I am extending (Love willing)
  the lease on love poetry,
because after all is said and done/won
Love is poetry clamouring to be written!๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ˜Š

This poem applies to marriage or
Love's Common Carriage called 'us'

"Let's keep in mind, storms never stay
the sun will shine again..."

Last week's sunshine-soak-spot๐Ÿ˜€
(side note; looks like our snow dugout in the background needs digging out!)
Weather is one way of reminding us how swiftly life's landscape can change,
and the only abiding Anchor is Love!

Let’s leave allowances, my love, for fumbles, slips and such 
And smooth out shouted wrinkles with a kinder kind of touch 
Let’s be good friends and not give up where cups of grace ran dry 
Let’s weather life together and give love another try 

Let’s be to one another what we wish others to be 
The golden rule is not a rubric of antiquity 
But is a foolproof principle for people, young and old 
And able to work wonders in a badly broken mold/world 

Let's keep in mind storms never stay, the sun will shine again
Let's not get so caught in the moment we forget the 'Then'
As much as we are able let's soften often harsh tones
And prove that we are grateful by not hurling verbal stones

Let’s forgive one another and release the bitter grudge 
Let love be of sound judgment, then, not quite so quick to judge 
What good is pointing fingers when we all bear part of blame 
Let’s remember Life’s Author and the love from whence we came 

…and leave allowances because we are all learning still 
Then let’s love one another on life’s road, often uphill 
Instead of clenching angry fists let’s join our hands until 
The love of God has worked in us His greatest miracle 

© Janet Martin 

Heb.13:1 NKJV
Let brotherly love continue

or NIV
Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters..



Saturday, February 13, 2021

Let's Not Keep Love A Secret



The worst secret to keep
is our struggles in love!
'Because love is the fight of all fights, all right'!!
And its success depends on you and me
 has hit closer to home in the past year than ever before
Making me wonder perhaps if we should be better acquainted

Photo below taken a year ago when life was still 'normal'

(this would be our annual getaway weekend)

I will be the first to admit I/Jim and I could plaster a massive wall with mistakes made,
and mementos of 'failure' BUT we commit to never quit forgiving each other
to keep our marriage vows and remain faithful to the finish!

Maybe all women should be asking this poem of our Lifelong-Love-to-be



Love flows like fire in a pen 
It tugs heartstrings with mute amen 
Where farewell often steals the show 
And love must learn how to let go 
While ever honing the fine art 
Of keeping motive pure in heart 

Love is more than ‘my happiness’ 
Or a costume worn to impress 
Love suffers much and bears in mind 
That to be strong love must be kind 
It does not harbour for itself 
Some idol on a secret shelf 

Love is a weapon and a shield 
A mountain and an open field 
It weathers, tethers and equips 
With iron will, and gentle lips 
And in its sacred ties that bind 
We leave words like ‘my, me’ behind 

Love intertwines with its cohort 
For love is not a solo-sport 
But cleaves to its betrothed ally 
To keep vigil with watchful eye 
For when love lets its guard grow lax 
It invites enemy attacks 

Love seems to be the favoured prey 
Of dreams and lies and cunning sway 
Then our greatest goal should be 
To protect it ferociously 
And defend love’s holy ought 
Lest we fail it, for love does not 

Love is far more than meets the gaze 
Of those who wonder at its ways 
Love is a front-line, prayer-immersed 
The aftermath of ‘others first’ 
It does not covet, does not steal 
It does not trust the dust of ‘feel’ 

Love is a God-begotten tryst 
Without Him, love does not exist 
For God is love, in Him we trust 
All else is hate’s accomplice; lust 
And whether we believe or not 
All who have loved have witnessed God 

Love never fails; lust desecrates 
What havoc Selfish Yes creates 
When it is seduced by the lies 
That masquerade as love’s disguise 
Behooving us to reassess 
Who and what brings True Happiness 

Darling, let’s commit to the fight 
For This is what love is, all right 
White knuckled grit to hold on so 
While we submit to letting go
Of all that does not benefit 
Love’s long and short and whole of it 

Love has no trophy wall or shelf 
It never succeeds by itself 
But exceeds all else, above all 
Though its accolades may seem small 
When weighed with the success Fame hails 
Where love commits, love never fails 

Love, let it be our sole/soul intent 
Let it be the humble cement 
That binds the mason-work of days 
With devoted, trustworthy ways 
So that when death our last breath drains 
The legacy of love remains 

© Janet Martin 

In this community, recently Death has drained so many, suddenly
of Last Breath, leaving behind Love/life's permanent legacy
which is why, in these very troubled times
 I am choosing this simple song by Don Williams to remind us
of what really matters!






Tuesday, January 19, 2021

The Wonder-full Wake Of It All



This poem began with the intention of being about life
but turned into a poem that could also be about marriage





Life is full of lessons on learning how to get along and share!
Every summer the ducks at our cottage make me chuckle;
they seem like people in a way; some greedy and noisy
 and others more easy-going as they learn how to share
their food and their lake๐Ÿ˜Š 


You know how it is; the kick and the kiss 
The sorrow that sweetens the joy 
The worlds that fly through hello and good-bye 
The duty that gathers our dreams in a sigh 
The beauty that feathers a tear to our eye 
And weathers the once-girl-and-boy 

You know how it goes, high-fives and low blows 
The wonder-full wake of it all 
The twist, turn and tug, the live-learn, the hug 
The pain-staking prayers for loads that we lug 
The haste of a year full of chug-chug-chug 
The sparkle of stars as they fall 

You know how it hurts; for better or worse 
So worth keeping hand to the plow 
The pull and the shove as we work through the rough 
Knowing sometimes showing up is enough 
Heave-ho, hold, let go, for the sake of love 
And the sanctity of a vow 

You know how it takes what we have and makes 
A heart-and-soul art-gallery 
The tint of Time slips through fingers and lips 
My, how the brush of the rush of days drips 
Into a mural of tempests and ships 
And by God’s grace, love’s legacy 

© Janet Martin 

 
 
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, 
but also for the interests of others.
Phil.2:4



Wednesday, June 3, 2020

For Better or Worse...


 Thanking God for the privilege of being able 
to celebrate 32 years of marriage today, by His grace...
Part of what I love about Jim is his never-ending ability to make me laugh.
I think he was waiting for an anniversary post cause he just saw it and texted me this
"I look like a pylon"๐Ÿ˜‚

For better or for worse; who knows what factors will unfold
To test and try the caliber of vows to have and hold
This life of highs and lows husband and wife must jointly meet
To weather together both woe and wonders bittersweet

Marriage is no band-wagon that we board and disembark
According to our whims and wants; it is till death doth part
So from the words ‘I do’ we ought to keep this thought in mind
To help us strive to be more unselfish, patient and kind

For better or for worse is not a curse or ball and chain
It is the grace of sharing both love's pleasure and its pain 
It is full of surprises after groom kisses the bride
After two become one and discover love's 'other side' ๐Ÿ˜‰

Marriage is more than signatures on a certificate
Two become one and none on earth its bond can abrogate
For what the Lord has joined His Hand alone will disannul
Till death doth part is not for faint of heart or disloyal

Marriage is learning to forgive and give more than we take
It’s saying I am sorry and admitting a mistake
It’s meeting in the middle toward a mutual aim
It’s learning to adapt to change; nobody stays the same

Marriage; it takes two but is always happier with Three
Husband and wife, with God as the crowning Supremacy
Where pray, that day by day and year by year as vows are tried
Marriage reflects the love that Heaven’s Groom has for His Bride

© Janet Martin

 Sharing Jean Hersey's practical and timeless thoughts on marriage
from the book The Shape of a Year
(hope you can read it...I couldn't choose a favourite paragraph) 



Jim and I are both Don Williams fans...
choosing these today